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Post by niki1221 on May 7, 2008 2:02:41 GMT -5
I'll give you one I learned from Disney's Baby Einsteins "Why did the bee have to go to the doctor?" "Because he had hives!" That's all I got *groan*  Somebody please bring the funnies here soon I need it!! |
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Post by kate on May 7, 2008 2:49:56 GMT -5
Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system>activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.
I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!
Thanks,
A Troubled User. (KEEP READING)
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REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:
This is a very common problem that men complain about.
Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.
You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.
The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag, Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0! WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
Best of luck,
Tech Support
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Post by fallenangel on May 7, 2008 8:59:43 GMT -5
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Post by laymedown on May 7, 2008 9:08:41 GMT -5
LOLOLOLOL Kate that is brilliant!!
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Post by chris88 on May 7, 2008 13:01:43 GMT -5
what did the ghost say to the bee?
-booooobee!
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Post by iwtrevor on May 7, 2008 13:58:11 GMT -5
HAHAHA  Well done Kate and Chris  So glad we finally got this thread going! |
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Post by fallenangel on May 7, 2008 14:14:36 GMT -5
Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped into save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out.
When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she nowconsidered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead"
Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry, now when can I go home?"
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Post by laymedown on May 7, 2008 14:41:21 GMT -5
LOLOLOLOLOLOL that's brilliant!!!
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Post by niki1221 on May 8, 2008 0:50:57 GMT -5
Cheers! Everybody's funnier than me and that's just how I like it!
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Post by chris88 on May 8, 2008 3:33:19 GMT -5
hmm.... somebody might get offended by these...  dead baby jokes! What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. |
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Post by Giselle on May 8, 2008 5:01:59 GMT -5
CHRIS!!!!   |
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Post by kate on May 8, 2008 7:00:00 GMT -5
perfect response mrs!  |
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Post by kate on May 8, 2008 7:57:29 GMT -5
Four Proud Dads
Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30
years, reunited at a party. After several
drinks, one of the men had to use the rest
room. Those who remained talked about their
kids. The first guy said, 'My son is my pride
and joy. He started working at a successful
company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied
Economics and Business Administration and soon
began to climb the corporate ladder and now
he's the president of the company. He became so
rich that he gave his best friend a top of the
line Mercedes for his birthday.'
The second guy said, 'Darn, that's terrific! My
son is also my pride and joy. He started
working for a big airline, and then went to
flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he
became a partner in the company, where he owns
the majority of its assets. He's so rich that
he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his
birthday.'
The third man said: 'Well, that's terrific! My
son studied in the best universities and became
an engineer. Then he started his own
construction company and is now a
multimillionaire. He also gave away something
very nice and expensive to his best friend for
his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion.'
The three friends congratulated each other just
as the fourth returned from the restroom and
asked: 'What are all the congratulations for?'
One of the three said: 'We were talking about
the pride we feel for the successes of our
sons. What about your son?'
The fourth man replied: 'My son is gay and
makes a living dancing as a stripper at a
nightclub.'
The three friends said: 'What a shame... what a
disappointment. '
The fourth man replied: 'No, I'm not ashamed.
He's my son and I love him. And he hasn't done
too bad either. His birthday was two weeks ago,
and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot
mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line
Mercedes from his three boyfriends
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Post by laymedown on May 8, 2008 8:28:17 GMT -5
LOLOLOL I've read that one before and it still makes me giggle.
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Post by laymedown on May 8, 2008 9:16:16 GMT -5
This made me laugh as it's 100% Molly  |
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