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Post by chris88 on May 9, 2008 12:48:01 GMT -5
HAHAHAHA! cuuuute!
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Post by sharie on May 9, 2008 17:57:27 GMT -5
Wait..... where did all MKKs funnies go!??! She posted loads yesterday and I saved some to come back and read this morning!??! They were here... honest! I posted more and they are gone. hmmm we are having delete this post by a ghost!
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Post by laymedown on May 10, 2008 4:49:01 GMT -5
Wait..... where did all MKKs funnies go!??! She posted loads yesterday and I saved some to come back and read this morning!??! They were here... honest! I posted more and they are gone. hmmm we are having delete this post by a ghost! That's really odd!!!!! Really, really disturbingly odd.
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Post by sharie on May 14, 2008 22:05:38 GMT -5
Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of 'cocktails', 'highballs' and just a good old-fashioned 'stiff drink'.
Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.
Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
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Post by Giselle on May 17, 2008 22:40:19 GMT -5
Why did the Emo chicken cross the road?!?!?!
What do you care, you wouldn't understand anyway.
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Post by Giselle on May 18, 2008 6:35:22 GMT -5
WHY OH WHY?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use thebubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manageto knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
And my FAVORITE...... The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
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mel
Certified Member
Kieferette
Posts: 146
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Post by mel on May 18, 2008 11:41:08 GMT -5
A policeman spots a woman driving and knitting at the same time. Driving up beside her, he shouts out the window, "Pull over!" "No," she shouts back, "a pair of socks!" I thought it was funny lol
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Post by ownajeep on May 18, 2008 13:52:42 GMT -5
How many A.D.D. kids does it take to screw in a light bulb???
WANNA GO RIDE BIKES???
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Post by Giselle on May 18, 2008 23:33:42 GMT -5
Hahahahaha
I think they are funny too
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mel
Certified Member
Kieferette
Posts: 146
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Post by mel on May 19, 2008 8:59:05 GMT -5
One my Granddad keeps telling me. And it always cracks me up Man walks into the doctors and says, "I need more sleeping pills for my wife," "Has she ran out?" the doctor asks, "No. She's woke up,"
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Post by sharie on May 27, 2008 19:04:35 GMT -5
so I'm watching beauty and the geek, they ask a chick
"whats your IQ?
No sh*t she says. "slightly over , umm not so dumb"
I'm still laughing!
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Post by Giselle on May 31, 2008 8:38:20 GMT -5
An oldie but I will post it anyway
MENOPAUSE JEWELLERY
My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings of late bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big f**kin red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.
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Post by Fluffy Poodle on Jun 9, 2008 19:39:13 GMT -5
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Post by katelin416 on Jun 9, 2008 20:11:07 GMT -5
I think living in Oregon is definitely a plus. I am pale, and it took me a long time to appreciate it, but then I realized that I won't age prematurely. That got me over being pale really quickly. Woo Hoo!
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Post by Fluffy Poodle on Jun 9, 2008 21:10:03 GMT -5
I don't care about getting a tan, I just think the weather is depressing. It's June and it's still cold. I do notice that people who grow up here seem to like it. I'm not originally from here, so I don't.
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